What NOT to do in bed

Men, pay heed these tips might save your relationship!

By Fusion Lifestyle Reporter
April 20, 2012, 2:01 pm
What NOT to do in bed

Men, pay heed, these are tips that you may not be told directly by the woman you are sleeping with.

We women tend to sugar coat things so as not to hurt your feelings, and as well know, men do pride themselves on their sexual prowess and their ability and agility in the sack. We don’t want to hurt your pride, so may not reveal to you how bad you are or what exactly you are doing wrong.

But believe me, we do discuss it amongst each other, and rather scathingly where no detail is left undissected.

If you would prefer to not have undue mention of your name and have your sexual inabilities scrutinised, pay close attention.

1-   Contrary to what you may choose to believe, we do not like a man to have a hard on for more than thirty minutes. It becomes tiresome, tedious, and resembles pummelling. We are not horses that should be ridden. We have a g spot, a clitoris that needs gentle coaxing and stimulation. One friend was pummelled so intensely for two hours that her pelvis moved out of place.

2-  And in the same way, a man with an unnaturally long erection is more than likely the same man who has taken Viagra or some kind of other enhancement pill recreationally. If you do choose to take the pill, please extend to us the courtesy of informing us prior to engaging in sexual activity.

3-  Wham bam thank you maam. An obvious statement, but we need foreplay. And not in the obvious erogenous zones.

Yes, the breasts are great to fondle, the nipples love to be gently tugged and the neck is sensitive to kisses. But you have to make a more extensive effort than that before going for the target zone. Spend time and thought on the activity otherwise you will find her eyes glazing over in tedium whilst she will moan at the right places to get it over and done with.

4 Do not watch hard core porn secretly on your lap top before deciding that you want a quickie. That simply is bad manners. Getting turned by porn stars and then needing to relieve yourself on her is just utilising a convenient forum. If you must watch porn, include her in the viewing, watch it together. You’ll be surprised how many women enjoy watching porn.

5-Do not buy us sexy lingerie as a gift. It’s not a gift for her. Invariably it’s a gift you. You will revel in the thrill of seeing her scantily clad in the lingerie which will only enhance your sexual drive. If you want to make the gift special, give it some thought, and shop away from the lingerie department.

6-Don’t ask to be rated out of ten after each sexual encounter. It is immature, and not endearing. And only serves to fuel your ego. If it was that good, we will tell you ourselves.

7-Don’t nag for it. There’s nothing more off putting than a man who keeps pleading for sex. We may well concede to put an end to the nagging, but do you really want a woman who has sex in a disgruntled manner? Use that energy in a more constructive manner by paying us compliments and telling us how sexy we are. That will be more effective and maybe a means to an end.

8-When using your fingers, understand how the vagina works. Excessive pressure does not equate to pleasure. The vagina is not there to be scrubbed and rubbed endlessly. Listen to her response to your touch. It will make you more skilful.

9 - Avoid the lizard kiss. Kissing should be sensual. Tongue is good, but not when it is being thrust down her throat. She needs to breathe whilst kissing!

10- If she wants anal, she’ll tell you.

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