‘Tis the Season to Conceive?'

The advent of Christmas entails among other things angry shoppers.

Umbreen Ali
By Umbreen Ali
Columnist
December 18, 2013, 4:48 pm

The advent of Christmas entails angry shoppers, manic car parks, nausea inducing Christmas ads, ‘ironic’ Christmas jumpers and apparently a period of national bonking.

National Birth Records for the UK reveal that most birthdays fall in September, thus making December a definitive baby-making month.

The catalyst for this trend- meticulous planning so that one’s child will become one of the oldest in their class at school which has been proven to give them an academic advantage.

Apparently the Tiger Mum syndrome has reached extreme degrees when teachers have publicly reported that they are being bribed to cast children as Mary and Joseph in the school nativity play.

And speaking of vainglorious and self obsessed grown ups, apparently social etiquette, in particular photo taking protocol has become nebulous and unclear. I blame Instagram. 

The world’s most tacky selfie-not the ample, golden buttocks of Kim Kardashian, rather the untimely Obama/Cameron/Hellee the hottie of world leaders is set to be auctioned rather than deleted- a plea allegedly from David Cameron.

Although that selfie and poor Michelle’s unimpressed and slightly humiliated face will never ever be deleted from reality. Michelle Obama, global icon of the re-emergent cult of the ‘good wife.’

Yes, the good wife phenomenon has now become a publishing marvel is Spain. A new book advising newly married women on how to be “submissive” in a non kinky way has angered many feminists.

One quote teaches, "It's true, you're not yet an experienced cook or a perfect housewife…What's the problem if he tells you so? Tell him that he is right, that it's true, that you will learn. On seeing your sweetness and your humility, your effort to change, this will also change him.”

Sounds like every man’s dream. Or every Asian mother-in-laws mantra.

But if there was a woman to challenge the status quo, let it be courtroom alchemist Nigella Lawson.

Bitter men are possibly the unsexiest thing on the planet. But honestly, what was Charles Saatchi thinking?

As if a drugs abuse allegation has ever tarnished the career of a celebrity.

Look at Kate Moss and her latest accolade that is Playboy.

Tags:

Add a Comment