Pippa and her 'hot buns'

Pippa Middleton has it all and so much more.

Umbreen Ali
By Umbreen Ali
Columnist
April 5, 2013, 2:41 pm
Pippa and her 'hot buns'

Since her notorious debutt, not a typo, Pippa Middleton has gloriously proven that not only is she a professional dilettante and unashamed usurper of convenient connections, but she also has great buns.

In her Waitrose column that is.

From a £400,000 book deal about a glossy and rather posh cooking book that flopped to kicking Delia Smith to the kerb all whilst maintaining that shining mane and colgate smile, Pippa has proven her worth.

If only Delia could have come out with golden nuggets such as, “Because of their size, turkeys are perfect for feeding larger gatherings.” Or that pancakes are ideal on Pancake Day.

What a glamorous genius.

Pippa’s Friday Night Feasts are certainly timely.

New research reveals that due to more stringent finances, couples are increasingly having to spend Friday and Saturday nights at home entertaining themselves with the way our ancestors knew best. Bonking.

And now, why not replace the cursory takeaway with Miss Middleton’s suggestion and wrap your tongue around Pippa’s sushi.

If, like the book this career path does not work out, there’s always sports commentary.

Which avid golfer wouldn’t want to hear Pippa’s take on how to be a good swinger. Or how to effectively dribble a football between the opponents legs.

 Or how one ought to penetrate a basketball up the middle and take it to the hole. Or Pippa could embrace her upper echelon roots and advise us on how one mounts a stallion of substantial girth.

It’s all about branching out and exploring new genres in the most lucrative way possible. ‘Skyfall’ Bond girl, Berenice Marlohe turns designer for Escada.

Well if Katie Holmes, Victoria Beckham and Sofia Vergara can do it, why not?

Justin Timberlake has his own exclusive home accessories collection and Brad and Angelina have their own wine range.

Pippa Middleton epitomises the modern day female ambition.

Whilst once girls nation wide dreamt of being a WAG, or ‘marrying well’ or even a sex tape with any rich, famous pop star, now it’s all about opportunistic fame.

Look at the overweight man with the football skills who has somehow become an internet star, the Harlem Shake and of course Kim Kardashian.

Forget whoever Harry ends up marrying. It’s his future sister-in-law we’re excited about.

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